| These few days, I cry a lot. I don't know why am I crying. Something which I had never met before just happened. Yesterday (Monday), I handed in an assignment. However, some problems happened before the submission. On Sunday evening, we tried to compile everything. However, one of the group member (A) didn't send us her part. So, after contacting with her, she said her internet connection got some problems and she will run down to Cyber Cafe to send us the file. So, at night, we still didn't get her file. I kept on calling and msging her but her phone was switched off. Me and another group (B)member started to panic. B wanted to give up A's part but I insist that I want to complete the assignment. After discussing on this matter, she supported me and she took the responsibility and completed that missing part. In the midnight, A's phone was finally on. She sms us and told us that she had sent it to us on Sunday evening and told me that she didn't realise that her phone was run out of battery. She was in the Pantai Hospital because her cousin met with accident. However, after we checked the mail box, we didn't receive anything. At the time when I wanted to call her and tell her that we didn't receive her part, her phone was switched off again. So, B intially got angry. Finally, after a while, she came online. We got her part but the file she sent to us were not usable in our opinion and it is different with the four hundred words version. The write up only got 183 words. So, she said maybe there was some errors in the middle. Thus, she sent us her file again. This time round, there was three hundred plus of words. However, no reference, no citation inside and still, we don't think it was usable. So, B really got fed up and insist of kick A out. But I really don't want to kick her. So, I kena marah by B. She said that after what she had done, I didn't even support her. She blame me for defending her and she threaten me that if I want to defend her, just use the part which B write up. At that time, I really dun know what to do. I can only tell her my argument. At last, she compiled everything and everything was done. She scolded A and she asked me to decide whether want to put A's name in the cover page myself. At the same time, A kept on calling me and asking me what should she do, what can she help, and what was happening. I was in a such dilemma. If you were me, what will you do? At last, I decided to follow my heart. I put her name and submitted the assignment. Btw, in the self assessment part, she gave herself 0 and clearly stated the reasoning. I feel so sad for her. After I handed in the assignment on Monday morning, I sent an e-mail to B. I told her all the reasons why I don't want to kick her out. It is not beneficial at all to tell our lecturer about this matter. It only shows all the negative sides of us. Somemore, I told her(B) that I wanted to support her because of all the affords she had put in. But A already gave herself 0 for self-assessment. What's the point of bringing all these out? Somemore, A supposed to have graduated last year. I asked her, can she just let thing settle down easily. I please her so much but what I had said was treated like a shit. In the afternoon, she called me and she wanted to find the lecturer. She told me that she doesn't care about kicking her(A) out anymore but she wants to bring this out to lecturer because of fear of plagarism. She claimed that her work on A's part was like copying the internet. She wanted to tell the lecturer that because of A, she did it in the last minutes and things just turn out like this. So, I'd got nothing to say. Since she say that, what should I say? So, I went to school to find her. Lecturer was not in the office. She written in a letter to the lecturer. But in the letter, she didn't mention anything about plagarism. I felt that I was cheated by her. The main purpose of the letter was just to kick her out. She clearly stated the purpose of kicking A out in the first few sentences. She asked me whether I wanted to put down my name. Once again, I don't know what to do. So, I told her that I don't want to kick A out and maybe just get less mark. After that, I feel so regret. Why should I put in my name. Why should I say so. But the only reason I want to put down my name is because this is a group assignment. I have to give my point of view. To be fair to them, I have to do this. BUT I really regret for doing so. Today, I met the lecturer. We had a meeting at three o'clock. A was like giving up already. I felt so terrible for her. B still blaming her for everthing A had done. I told the lecturer what had happened exactly and I told him that it is our fault. I really don't want to bring this out. I blamed myself to be so irresponsible. I should have taken the necessary steps to make sure that everything will be fine. But I assume that someone else will take the responsibility. So, it's my fault too. I said disregard of whether A's contribution on our part are relevant (actually, A didn't contribute to my part) or not, A attended the meeting. So, I don't want to kick her out and I just want to deduct her mark. B supported me. Lastly, the lecturer said that he will mark the paper based on her contribution. I was so stressful at that time. I had tried my best to relax. Else, I knew that I might cry. However, I still fail to do that. When I told him the entire process, my eyes are wet. But luckily, there didn't fall down. Before the meeting end, the lecturer asked us whether we have any questions. B asked whether got any tips for final exam or not. I was really shocked and really feel like want to say "What the F***) After the meeting, she came and talked to me. I really don't feel like wan to talk to her. I forced myself to talk and smile so hard. She asked me, "how was the thing just now?"...with her pretty smile. Once I again, I want to say "what the f***". I cheated her that I got other place to go and leave asap. This is the first time I saw this kind of people. Why does she want to be such person? You wanted to bring this out, fine. You wanted to kick her out, fine. You had done everything to her as desired, don't you feel bad? Even if you are not, can't you just shut your mouth, don't smile? You are so evil. I really regret to have mentioned about deducting A's mark. I feel really bad. But if I don't say so, most probably A will get 0. She herself already gave up. I can't let this happen. This is something really go against my heart, my moral sense. I was angry with all the troubles A had brought to us but what's the point of kick her out after we handed in the assignment? I am fine with that as long as the assignment are handed in nicely. Now, I feel so sorry to A. I called her and keep on saying sorry to her. I had tried my best to help her. I knew how terrible it is to fail the paper. I don't want this to happen on her. Again, when I think about what I had told the lecturer about deducting her mark, I regret. What will happen if I don't even mention about deducting mark? Maybe she can get through? But at that time, she already giving up, and B wanted to kick her up, what should I do? I really don't know. My feelings are very complicated now. A is quite understanding. She in turn keep on saying thank you for telling the truth to the lecturer. Thank you me from not kicking her out. I am really sorry, I had tried my best but I just couldn't avoid all these from happening. Now, I really fed up with B. She cheated me and she is such an evil. When I saw her face, I feel like want to vomit. Is she really happy for doing all these? She is so stupid. It doesn't benefit all three of us at all. She just don't understand that. I can understand her feeling at that time but couldn't she think about the consequences? Does it benefit her? Does she feel happy to fail people? After I put down my pride, talked so nicely to her, she still didn't want to listen to me. My pride was treated like a shit. You are such a bitch. Damn it. 我要去念佛经了。我害了一个人。我帮不了她。为什么她就不知道什么是“得饶人处且饶人”。因为我的懒散，这一切发生了。如果我主动一点，积极一点，事情就不会这样了。我真的不应该认为每个人都是那么的有责任感的。我真的很抱歉。 |
